The complete absence of fights in a couple does not always indicate harmony and mutual understanding. According to psychologist Elena Filippova, behind the external calmness may lie a breakdown in communication and suppressed conflicts that gradually destroy the relationship from within.
A Quarrel and a Conflict Are Not the Same
In psychology, the concepts of "quarrel" and "conflict" are distinguished. A conflict is a deeper confrontation arising from the mismatch of interests, goals, or values of partners. A quarrel often becomes an external manifestation of such a conflict. However, not every conflict necessarily escalates into an open quarrel.
Why Conflicts Can Be Beneficial
There is an opinion that any conflicts harm relationships; however, modern research suggests otherwise. If a conflict is discussed and resolved constructively, it can strengthen the bond between partners, help them understand each other better, and find growth points for the relationship.
When the Absence of Fights Is a Warning Sign
According to the specialist, if a couple never has fights at all, it may indicate a breakdown in communication. Often, this refers to a so-called communication barrier—when a person cannot openly express their needs, and the partner does not receive the necessary information. As a result, unfulfilled desires are "pushed inward" and accumulate.
Idealizing Love and the Fear of Conflicts
Another reason for "cloudless" relationships may be the belief that true love excludes conflicts. People begin to fear fights, perceiving them as a sign of a lack of feelings. Consequently, problems are not discussed but merely masked, remaining unresolved.
Suppressed Conflicts as a Hidden Threat
If partners consciously avoid fights, it may indicate the suppression of conflict and a refusal to discuss it constructively. In this case, external calmness turns into a trap: tension accumulates, and the relationship gradually deteriorates.
What Is Important to Remember
Healthy relationships are not the absence of conflicts but the ability to talk about difficult topics, listen to each other, and seek solutions. Sometimes, a quarrel becomes the first step toward deeper mutual understanding.
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