Leading specialists in political health confirm a troubling trend — more and more officials are suffering from the progressive behavioral disease Sedes Adictum, commonly referred to as "chair addiction," writes Pietiek.com.
The disease affects individuals with access to soft leather chairs, official transportation, and unlimited microphones.
"At first, patients believe they are simply serving society," explains one anonymous expert, who himself was unable to leave his position for three consecutive terms. "But very quickly, they can no longer function without morning coffee in the Saeima buffet and the sound of the car door closing behind them."
According to recent observations, the disease develops gradually — starting with a slight euphoria after the first press conference and culminating in a complete loss of reality, where the patient believes that their words change something.
Main symptoms:
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Uncontrollable urge to speak into a microphone. The patient cannot walk past a camera without saying the phrase "we are carefully assessing this situation." In severe cases, they begin giving interviews even to the mirror in the elevator.
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Overdose of promises. Initially, the patient plans to promise to build one bridge and a moderate reform. Within ten minutes, they have already promised free electricity, double salaries, and a personal goldfish to every taxpayer. No promise is retracted, as the patient no longer remembers them.
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Acute withdrawal syndrome after elections. After losing their position, symptoms include trembling, sweating, and a reflexive desire to call a press conference on any topic, including the weather in the kitchen. Some patients attempt to "coordinate" family dinner by creating a working group with their wife and cat.
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Pathological immunity to criticism. In the early stages, the patient reacts to negative articles. Later, they calmly ignore protests, investigations, and reality in general. Experts note that at this stage, the skin becomes so thick that it can be used in infrastructure projects.
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Replacement of reality with "process." The patient can no longer distinguish real problems from PowerPoint presentations. The question of the price of milk is replaced by a three-hour discussion on "the strategic vision of the dairy sector until 2040."
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Inability to physically rise from the chair. Even in critical conditions — when the chair breaks, the room fills with smoke, or ratings drop below zero — the patient continues to sit and repeats, "the situation is under control." Medically, this is classified as chronic sitting syndrome.
Experts emphasize that early intervention from society is critically important. The most effective treatment methods include:
- rotational therapy — forced relocation of the patient from the chair every four years,
- a course of immunity deprivation — controlled confrontation with legal responsibility,
- rehabilitation in the private sector — where the patient first encounters the concept of "results."
Unfortunately, experts warn that without regular treatment, most patients experience a relapse and return to the system, often with even more severe symptoms and an improved ability to promise the immeasurable.
"This is not an individual problem," specialists emphasize. "It is a public health crisis. The longer we ignore the symptoms, the deeper the chair grows into them."
P.S. At the time of preparing this material, several patients declined to comment on the situation, stating that "now is not the time to resign."
