January and February are often referred to as the period when spouses increasingly decide to break up. The reasons for this phenomenon are rooted in how the holiday season affects people's emotions, relationships, and expectations.
If you don’t want to be among those who reinforce the sad statistics, it’s worth understanding which signals and "danger zones" to notice in time. Psychologist Radmila Bakirova explains what makes this period particularly critical and what steps can help navigate it without making a hasty decision to break up.
Holiday Intensification of Existing Problems
Winter holidays do not create conflicts "from scratch." Rather, they make the cracks in the relationship that the couple has already faced before the holidays more noticeable. Spending a long time together, forced closeness, visits from relatives who are not always easy to get along with, and the abandonment of usual ways of relaxing (for example, switching to work) lead to minor misunderstandings becoming hard to ignore.
The Effect of Elevated Expectations
The end of the year is traditionally associated with dreams of a fairytale, ideal time, full of harmony and mutual understanding. When reality does not match this "magical scenario," disappointment is felt particularly acutely. The partner ceases to be just a close person and is perceived as a source of unfulfilled hopes — which can push one to decide to end the relationship.
Emotional and Physical Exhaustion
Holidays often do not provide rest at all. Preparation for them, travel, expenses, meetings, the embrace of social obligations, and even alcohol consumption lead to significant stress. In such conditions, the ability to talk calmly and seek compromises noticeably decreases, while irritability increases. Situations that could be resolved at other times may seem insurmountable.
January as a Moment of Reevaluation
The beginning of the new year is psychologically perceived as a milestone, when people take stock, analyze their lives, and ask themselves: "Do I want everything to continue the same way?" If the relationship has long exhausted itself and brings more discomfort and pain, it is during this period that the determination to change something may arise — sometimes too resolute and hasty.
How Not to Worsen the Situation
The main thing is not to make fateful decisions under the influence of fatigue and emotional exhaustion. It is helpful to first restore one’s strength: establish sleep, return to a normal rhythm, and distance oneself from the noise of the holidays. An honest conversation about the state of the relationship and mutual expectations should be planned when there are resources to listen to each other, rather than just defend oneself. Often, it is the reduction of elevated expectations and a return to simple mutual respect that helps to get through this period without destructive steps and irreversible decisions.
