Shelves, closets, storerooms — somewhere there is definitely a broken hairdryer, a stack of old magazines, clothes "for the dacha," boxes of "memorable" junk. Sometimes we can't even explain why we keep all this. And parting with such treasures is not easy. About what lies behind this habit and how to help yourself, psychologist and coach Daria Tarasova explained.
What is "Plyushkin Syndrome"
This is not a medical diagnosis, but a colloquial expression. It refers to the tendency to hoard — the habit of not throwing anything away. Sometimes it indeed involves severe forms, where a person cannot part with anything, even garbage. But more often, it is a quite recognizable everyday behavior: "it's a shame to throw away," "let it stay," "what if it comes in handy."
"It is important to understand: hoarding is not about laziness or untidiness. Behind this habit may lie anxiety, fear of change, emotional attachment. All of this deserves attention and a careful approach. It is something to look into," explains the psychologist.
Why It's Hard to Throw Away
Every item we keep has its own story. There are several reasons why it is difficult for us to part with them:
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Fear of scarcity. This is especially characteristic of those who grew up in the 90s or in families where "everything was kept for later." Even if new items can be bought now, there is an internal anxiety: "What if I can't afford it later?"
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Attachment to the past. Clothes from graduation, a concert ticket, a grandmother's cup — such items remind us of important moments. It seems that if we throw them away, the memory will disappear too.
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Anxiety about change. Getting rid of the old means acknowledging that life is changing. And changes are not always perceived as something safe.
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Illusion of control. When there is little stability in life, one wants to hold on to things at least. This gives a sense of order, albeit an illusory one.
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Avoidance. Everyone has that corner, drawer, or closet that is scary to look into. Because there lies a mountain of unresolved tasks, memories, and doubts. Even thinking about it is exhausting.
How to Help Yourself
You should not set a goal to "throw everything away and start from scratch." This only creates more pressure. The approach should be gradual and gentle. Here’s what Daria advises:
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Start with the simplest. One unmatched sock, an old brochure, a broken pen — throw away something insignificant. And observe how you feel. This is exposure — a gradual acclimatization to the anxiety caused by letting go.
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Clear out little by little. One drawer, one shelf, 15 minutes a day. This is much more effective than trying to "clear the entire apartment over the weekend." You can use the Pomodoro technique and set a timer — for breaks.
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Preserve memories, not things. Take a photo of the item, write a few words about what it associates with in your notes. This way, you keep the essence without cluttering.
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Support yourself. Not all emotions during decluttering will be pleasant. This is normal. Sometimes we are letting go not just of an old t-shirt, but a part of our history.
When Things Interfere with Life
If there is no room for furniture at home, it's hard to invite guests, and the closets won't close — perhaps hoarding has already become a way to cope with anxiety, loneliness, or inner emptiness. "In this case, do not hesitate to consult a psychologist. Together, you can find other, healthier ways to restore a sense of stability and find support," advises the specialist.
Certainly, we are not obliged to live in perfectly empty spaces. But it is important that the home is not a storage for fears. When we free up space — we free up energy and get closer to ourselves. Try it with something simple and safe; you will like it.
