A wise man once shared valuable advice on how to deal with rude people. He was convinced that responding to rudeness with rudeness is a foolish step taken when one's ego is hurt and there is a desire for revenge — just as rudely and unpleasantly, and sometimes even more harshly, so that others think twice about it.
The Weak Are Not Insulted
“Over the years of my life, I have come to an important conclusion: rudeness does not counteract rudeness,” the sage asserted. “In my youth, when I competed with other young people, I often encountered sharp remarks directed at me. This happened quite frequently. I even wondered: maybe the problem is with me? And it really was with me, but not in the way I thought. My mentor told me a simple truth: the weak are not insulted. This phrase put everything in its place: if you are being insulted, it means there is something resilient and strong in you that someone wants to destroy.
Will they insult someone who poses no threat and who is inferior in every way? No. They insult those whom they envy, those who are better or luckier in some way.”
Not everyone can appreciate the irony.
Indifference and Agreement
“The most painful sharp remarks are those that we perceive as clothing: as soon as we hear something unpleasant directed at us, we immediately ‘put on’ this silly outfit — and feel discomfort and resentment. Sharp remarks are essentially harmless as long as we do not take them seriously. Sharpness and rudeness are traps: as soon as we believe in them, even for a moment, we are already caught. We should not try on the images imposed on us by those who do not wish us well.
There is a very simple way to help not internalize sharp remarks — it is the method of indifference and agreement. As soon as we start to dispute something, we let it in and try with all our might to expel it again. We should not think about sharp remarks and those who utter them at all, in any context. You wouldn’t want to let a street rat into your house, would you? Even if it begs to come in. Why? Because then you will have to expel it. It’s the same here: someone is spraying sharp remarks, but it’s not worth letting them in — you will have to expel them anyway. The truth is, for this you need to have a reserve of patience and calm — it comes with age.”
