Most parents genuinely strive to give their children the best and shield them from difficulties. However, sometimes in an attempt to protect their child, mom and dad cross boundaries — and their words, spoken repeatedly, can leave a deep mark on the child's psyche.
Authoritarian parenting is a strict approach that involves many rigid rules. This method implies that the child must obey unconditionally: "my word is law." At the same time, they do not receive explanations as to why and for what purpose.
What is Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents often focus their attention on control and discipline, but do not pay enough attention to warm, trusting relationships. This approach can develop a tendency towards perfectionism, anxiety, and low self-esteem in the child. They learn to think that mistakes are something unacceptable, and every misstep will lead to punishment or discontent.
A child raised in such an atmosphere may struggle with self-esteem and decision-making in adulthood. They become accustomed to obeying because they fear the consequences, rather than understanding the reasons.
Why Strict Phrases Are Harmful
Phrases like "Because I said so!" or "Because I said it — period" are often used instinctively when parents want to end an argument or achieve obedience. However, such wording does not explain why the rule exists and does not give the child an understanding of the logic behind it. It puts a period at the end of the dialogue, leaving no room for discussion or questions.
In this situation, the child internally perceives that their feelings and reasoning are not taken into account. This can hinder their ability to develop confidence in their own identity and the ability to analyze situations independently.
Consequences for the Child
Children who are often raised strictly, without explanations and dialogue, frequently grow up to be individuals who:
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strive for perfection and fear making mistakes;
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experience uncertainty in their own decisions;
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seek approval from others instead of relying on themselves;
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may avoid responsibility or shift it onto others.
Such adults often develop a sense that love and respect depend on their successes or the absence of mistakes, creating internal emotional tension.
What Can Be Done Differently
Realizing that parenting had an authoritarian tone does not mean you have to repeat the same scenario with your children. On the contrary — it is an opportunity to build other, more trusting and respectful relationships.
In this context, it is important to:
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explain why certain rules exist;
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give the child the opportunity to express their opinion without fear of punishment;
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acknowledge your own mistakes and apologize — this teaches responsibility and empathy;
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use phrases that strengthen self-esteem rather than undermine it.
This approach helps children develop confidence, the ability to hear themselves, and understand that the world is not just about obedience, but also about dialogue.
