6 Myths About Infidelity Debunked by Science 0 70

1. Infidelity Always Destroys Relationships

It would be more accurate to say that infidelity changes relationships because it evokes complex emotions in one or both partners and a sense of loss. The person who has been cheated on may feel pain from the loss of trust and security, obsessively replaying the scenario of their partner's affair in their mind. The one who cheated often feels guilt. However, this does not necessarily mean that the couple will ultimately break up or that the relationship will deteriorate.

As psychologists note, sometimes after infidelity, partners can even become closer. But this will not happen magically. Both individuals must be committed to restoring the relationship and prepared for what will not simply be. They will have to work through the issue, including facing unpleasant feelings, having difficult conversations, and so on.

However, this also does not mean that the saying "A good affair strengthens a marriage" is particularly viable. First, it assumes that the infidelity remains a secret. Second, infidelity is still a common reason for divorces.

2. Both Partners Are Always to Blame for Infidelity

A one-time affair or a fling can have dozens of reasons. For example:

• loss of attachment to the partner;
• imbalance in partners' contributions to the relationship;
• ineffective communication;
• unresolved issues such as fear of intimacy or avoidance of conflict;
• physical health problems;
• mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder;
• various addictions;
• stressful periods;
• personal dissatisfaction and low self-esteem;
• anger towards the partner;
• falling in love with someone else;
• desire for variety in sex;
• alcohol intoxication;
• revenge.

Moreover, sometimes people cheat simply because they can: without any reason.

As seen from the list, sometimes the second partner is indeed somehow involved in the situation, but often they are not involved at all.

In any case, when it comes to the causes of infidelity, it is important to timely separate blame and responsibility. The latter always lies with the one who cheated; it is their choice. In cases of misunderstanding or crisis, there were many other options: to talk, to break up, to see a psychologist. But a person decides to engage in an affair; no one forces them to do so. Discussions about "the blame of both" dilute this responsibility.

3. People Usually Cheat with Strangers

A common plot in movies: the hero goes to a bar, has a drink, meets someone, and wakes up in a stranger's bed with a headache and a sense of guilt. In reality, sex on the side often happens with someone the person knows well. Moreover, before getting to intimacy, people often test the waters: they text, exchange photos, and so on.

4. A Person Won't Cheat in a New Relationship

This myth is common among those who have been cheated on: "He (she) was just unhappy, but it won't happen with me; he (she) will definitely be faithful to me." This does happen. But overall, the statistics on this are not very optimistic. The likelihood of infidelity is 3.5 times higher for people who have cheated before. However, there are also those who have crossed the line only once.

5. Dependent People Don't Cheat

This refers to economic dependence. There is a belief that a person who does not earn anything and lives off their partner should be more faithful. After all, it would be hard for them outside the relationship. In reality, the opposite is true: such people cheat more often. Moreover, financially dependent men are more prone to infidelity than financially dependent women.

For a more financially successful partner, there are also interesting data. While a man's income is less than 70% of the family budget, the more he earns, the more faithful he tends to be. After reaching this threshold, it becomes easier for him to cheat again. A woman earning more than her partner is more faithful regardless of income.

6. Men Cheat More Often Than Women

Let's say this: it is not entirely a myth; men are slightly more active in their infidelity, but the gap between the sexes is not very significant. It is also worth noting that such data is usually obtained from surveys, so one has to rely on the honesty of the respondents. Women may find it harder to admit to infidelity due to societal expectations.

At ages under 34, a roughly equal number of men and women report infidelity. The difference begins to grow among older individuals and becomes statistically more significant over the years. For example, in the 20 to 29 age group, 11% of men and 10% of women cheat. In their eighties, 26% of men and 13% of women do. Although this may be related not so much to age itself as to people's belonging to different generations that hold various views on fidelity.