Love seems to be something unpredictable and magical to everyone except psychologists and scientists. They have long studied what makes people feel attraction to each other, figuring out which methods help establish emotional connections and enhance mutual empathy. A selection of ways to spark interest, already backed by research, has been compiled in this article.
1. Be an Attentive Listener
A study conducted by researchers from the University of Michigan confirmed that people who are good at listening attentively, calmly discussing problems, and keeping their emotions in check are less likely to be alone. Their romantic relationships are characterized by stability and often lead to a happy marriage.
To become an attentive listener, focus not on your thoughts and responses but on the person you are conversing with. Look them in the eye, nod, ask clarifying questions, and show your engagement in every possible way. Also, never interrupt and don’t rush to give advice. If you find it too difficult to do all this with a particular person, then they simply may not be right for you.
2. Show Your Vulnerability
A few years ago, Mandy Len Catron, an American writer, conducted her own research based on the work of Arthur Aron, which confirmed that we indeed tend to fall in love with people who are not afraid to appear awkward and vulnerable. This is because, around them, we do not view our own imperfections as something shameful.
Understanding that sincerity brings you closer to others will help you stop being shy about showing vulnerability. Start by sharing your feelings with a close person you have trusted for a long time, then with someone who has recently entered your life. Also, remind yourself more often that everyone has vulnerabilities, and acknowledging them is a sign of strength, not weakness.
3. Maintain Eye Contact
Another study by foreign researchers published in 2015 confirms that eye contact indeed enhances affection and increases the chances of being liked by someone. The fact is that when we look someone in the eye, our brain interprets this as a sign of openness and trust. Moreover, at the moment of eye contact, the production of "bonding hormones"—oxytocin and dopamine—is activated, making communication warmer and more emotional.
Hold your gaze on the person for 2–4 seconds, then gently look away and return your gaze. You can practice in front of a mirror or with close people to feel more confident in the future.
4. Keep a Positive Attitude
Jessica Gall, an American scientist and sociologist, proved in one of her studies that the connection between expressing emotions and attractiveness is indeed strong. The experiment she conducted also confirmed that smiling people appear more attractive, even if their facial features do not fit the standards set by society.
You will start smiling more often when you stop ignoring the pleasant little things in life: the morning light, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee, the kind words of those around you. To maintain a positive attitude, surround yourself with inspiring people and maintain a work-life balance, meaning work well and rest well.
5. Use Body Language
As early as 2016, scientists from the National Academy of Sciences in the USA conclusively confirmed that we are much more attracted to (both emotionally and physically) people who carry themselves relaxedly, openly express emotions, and use body language. The reason is that our subconscious perceives lively facial expressions and light touches as signs of interest and emotional involvement.
Next time you are having a conversation, keep your back straight and don’t cross your arms. Smile slightly with your eyes, lean towards the person, and react with your eyes when they say something important. But remember, body language only works when it reflects genuine feelings.
6. Leave a Bit of Mystery
A few years ago, another study by foreign researchers was actively discussed, which experimentally confirmed that mysterious people seem more attractive romantically. Their mystery arouses interest, engages the imagination, and creates a sense of depth. However, it is important to distinguish between light ambiguity and cold detachment.
To become a bit more mysterious, develop your hobbies and inner world—these create that very depth. You should also be more mindful of what you say and sometimes withhold your thoughts.
7. Use the "36 Questions" Technique to Deepen Connection
Psychologists Arthur and Elaine Aron developed a series of 36 questions that gradually transition from neutral to personal, helping people open up and feel emotional closeness. For example, you can start by asking something light like, "What is the most unusual gift you have ever received?", and then move on to more personal questions: "If you could change something about your past, what would it be?" or "What does ideal friendship mean to you?".
This technique helps create trust and a sense of comfort, making communication more intimate and rich. It is important not just to ask questions but to genuinely listen to the answers, showing interest and empathy.
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