Together or apart: who should elderly people live with
Modern psychologists often promote and support the idea that everyone should live separately — both children from parents and parents from children, and even spouses. This is considered an important stage in the formation of personal autonomy and healthy relationships. The process, referred to by psychologists as "separation," involves not only physical delineation of living spaces but also gradual emotional distancing, which helps develop independence, personal boundaries, and decision-making without constant oversight. At the same time, elderly parents, especially if they are left without a partner, often fall under the "empty nest syndrome," feeling anxiety and loneliness. With the onset of old age, people experience not only physiological changes but also difficulties in the emotional sphere — increased anxiety, sadness, sometimes eccentric behavior, and a reduced ability to adapt to new situations.
Retirement, loss of friends, and social circles lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. That is why the right environment and warm relationships are vital in mature age.
Therefore, there are no universal recipes for happiness in family life, and living separately is not necessary to be happy. Living together or apart is an individual choice, depending on personal needs, character, cultural traditions, and the specific situation of each person, family, or couple.
The main thing is not the form of living itself, but the quality of relationships. The absence of a single "recipe" is related to the fact that happy relationships are built on mutual understanding, awareness of one’s own and one’s partner’s needs, and the ability to adapt to changes.
Thus, old age should not follow a certain script. Life after 70 can be different. It is a time when one can choose who to be close to and how to spend their days.
Living with Oneself Is an Important Value
Loneliness does not necessarily mean isolation or a lonely soul. It is the ability to find peace in one’s own company, joy in simple things — brewing coffee for oneself, reading leisurely, living without constant external approval. As psychological studies show, the ability to live with oneself is a rare spiritual gift that provides independence and inner harmony.
An empty apartment may frighten not with darkness but with the thoughts that come with it. However, adaptation is learning to listen to oneself, where fear gives way to clarity. Loneliness becomes a space of freedom, where one can remain oneself, which is important after losses and stresses associated with aging.
Living with Children — Only If It Is Love, Not Obligation
Living under one roof with children can be harmonious and joyful if it is based on mutual respect, care, and warmth. When an elderly person feels that they are a full-fledged part of the family, rather than a nanny or a burden — this is a blessing. However, presence that causes fatigue, disrespect, or a feeling of being superfluous is a psychological burden that can harm health.
It is very important for elderly people to have their own space, where there are things and habits that are familiar to them. Psychologists emphasize that changing the familiar environment for elderly people is a significant stress and a source of alienation, so one should not sacrifice anything for the comfort of younger family members.
Living with a Friend — When There Is Trust and Mutual Support
More and more elderly women choose to live together, creating small social support groups. Such a community is not dependency but true friendship, where people help each other and fill life with community, warmth, and safety. It is intimacy where understanding is valued over disputes.
Living with Grandchildren — Provided There Is Respect and Understanding
Grandchildren often bring real warmth and sincerity into the lives of elderly people without unnecessary formalities. At the same time, older relatives should not become mere helpers for their grandchildren. Psychologists advise maintaining understanding so that cohabitation brings joy to everyone — both grandchildren and grandparents.
Not with Those Who Take Away Dignity and Peace
After 70, one should not remain in the company where there is humiliation, disrespect, or contradiction. Old age is a time to preserve one’s dignity, not to agree to be the "convenient" one for others. Studies emphasize the importance of psychological well-being in old age, which is impossible without respect and support.
An Active Life and Future Even After 70
Experts say that retirement does not mean the end of an active life. Elderly people can and should plan their future: going to the theater, engaging in creativity, learning new things. Supporting an interest in life slows biological aging and improves psychological well-being.
Life after 70 is not the end, but a special period that requires understanding, support, and the choice of one’s own path, where dignity and inner peace are valued.
