German sex expert recommends treating loneliness with casual encounters

A new encounter is the best remedy for loneliness.

The loss of a relationship almost always comes with pain and emptiness. Some experience this alone—with pizza, ice cream, and endless series. Others analyze the past with friends or in therapy sessions. Still others try to escape the pain: they start traveling, change their appearance, or dive headfirst into new acquaintances. However, there is another way to cope—through casual sexual encounters.

Psychologist and love coach from Munich, Stella Schultner, who works with the expert team of the Parship service, explains it simply:

"After a breakup, many feel empty, rejected, and vulnerable. The desire for warmth and attention becomes particularly strong at this moment."

According to her, it is not surprising that some seek validation of their attractiveness through new acquaintances. Others try to dull their loneliness with short-term relationships. But the question is, does this really help?

When a casual encounter can be harmful

Schultner warns: it all depends on the state from which a person enters into new communication.

If they feel inner stability and openly state that they are not ready for a relationship—a fleeting encounter is not dangerous. The problem is that this is rare. Heartbroken people often enter new relationships unconsciously, to temporarily fill the emotional void.

"What seems like relief now may later turn into new pain," says Schultner.

According to her, it is in such a state that a person can harm themselves, especially if they start to believe that a new connection will grow into something serious.

"When one partner is still emotionally attached to an ex, while the other hopes for a future, suffering inevitably arises," the expert explains.

How to avoid the emotional trap

What is important to remember if you have recently gone through a breakup.

Do not try to suppress the pain with casual romances.

Do not use other people as a means of self-affirmation.

Be honest that you are not looking for a serious relationship.

Give yourself time to process your feelings.

Do not hide that you are still struggling.

Schultner emphasizes: honesty is key to emotional recovery.

"It is important to ask yourself: am I really happy with this person or am I just running away from loneliness?"

Men and women cope with breakups differently

A Parship study showed that the reaction to romantic pain differs between men and women, writes watson.de.

Men are more likely to seek distraction through new contacts—17% start sexual dates almost immediately after a breakup.

Women, on the other hand, tend to engage in self-analysis and reflection—only 10% jump into casual sex.

Stella Schultner believes that such a strategy rarely helps:

"In the long run, it is better to give yourself space to recover than to immediately seek a replacement. Even if it is just a physical connection, the process of overcoming grief cannot be rushed. It takes time and the willingness not to run away from oneself."