Intimate closeness is not only physical pleasure in itself but also a way to connect with yourself (strange as it may sound) and your partner. Preparing for it, in this case, is not about beauty rituals, which are also not to be dismissed, but about feeling yourself in your body and trusting the moment. Sexologist Olga Vasilenko shared what to do before sex to make it not just an act but a true experience of intimacy.
Get in the Mood, Don’t Rush
Female sexuality doesn’t unfold instantly — it needs space and time. Before sex, it’s important to slow down: take a shower, turn off your phone, breathe deeply. “When attention returns to the body, arousal comes naturally. Getting in the mood isn’t a boring psychological tip, but a way to feel alive, confident, and desired,” says the expert.
Check Body Comfort
Make sure your body is comfortable: not cold, no clothing or underwear is in the way, and there are no minor irritations or discomfort. Simple self-care — clean skin, moisturized lips and body — helps you feel freer. If there is vaginal dryness — don’t be a hero, use lubricant. It’s not an awkwardness to be ashamed of, but a normal aspect of self-care that changes sensations and the quality of contact.
Let Go of Excess Thoughts
Thoughts about tasks, appearance, or “doing it right” hinder the body from responding fully. Try a short practice: three deep breaths in and out, focusing on even breathing and the feeling of the ground beneath your feet. The brain shuts off anxiety, and the body automatically engages in the process. This is sexual mindfulness — when you don’t have to try to be good, it’s enough to just be your true self.
Ensure Safety
Safety is not just about a condom or an honest conversation about the absence of infections (some even calmly ask for a certificate). It’s also an internal feeling: do I want this right now? Do I trust my partner? Do I feel at ease? “If the answer to even one question is ‘no’, it’s worth slowing down. Sex without internal consent leaves a mark — both in the body and in the psyche,” emphasizes the sexologist.
Remember Tenderness
Before sex, you can simply hug, lie next to each other, and feel your partner’s breath. Tenderness is not the opposite of passion, but its fuel. When you don’t aim for sex for the sake of sex, but enter it through caress and trust, the body opens up naturally. And pleasure becomes not a flash, but a wave that envelops you completely.
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