Lending a few dozen euros to a friend or refusing to preserve the relationship? This question sparked a lively discussion among users of the Latvian segment of the Threads social network. Many admitted that after unsuccessful loans, they lost friends, and some now only lend money to their closest relatives.
The author of the discussion shared that he used to help acquaintances financially without much doubt, but after several unpleasant incidents, he changed his attitude. According to him, several friends and acquaintances stopped communicating after they did not return borrowed money.
"Debtors. Right now, everything is fine for me, without any problems. If needed, I can lend as much as I want, but only to my closest: brother, sister, parents. I don’t even want to lend 20 euros to acquaintances or friends — because I lost about three good friends and several acquaintances because I lent money, and they didn’t return it. There was even one very good friend… well, I thought he was good — let him keep the money, but in the end, he started avoiding communication and was constantly 'very busy', and so the friendship disappeared forever. How about you — do you lend money?" the man wrote, attaching a screenshot of a conversation with one of the debtors.
The message reads:
"Hi, can you transfer 700 euros to my account? I’ll pay you back in two days. I remember about that 1000 euros. I’ll pay in cash when I’m in Latvia."
As the author of the post writes, the moral of the story is that along with the unreturned money, you lose a friend. "Even if you don’t mind the debt itself, the debtor changes — they become busy, they don’t have time to meet, etc.".
Under the post, dozens of users shared similar stories. Some believe that you can only lend money that you are morally ready to part with forever. Others admit that they fundamentally do not lend or borrow from friends to avoid putting the friendship at risk.
"I once lent 500 € about 5 years ago to a 'good' friend, he disappeared, and I didn’t get back a cent. Two years ago he wrote that yes, he would pay everything back, etc. So now I don’t lend to friends, only to family," one user wrote.
"Only in Latvia, when you lend money, you still have to explain why you want it back," wrote another commenter.
"I was recently let down too. A so-called friend — 20 €. She dragged her feet, everything else was more important to her, and in the end, she completely disappeared. Although her living conditions are better than mine (a higher-paying job). Since April, there hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought about it — this situation is 'gnawing' at me from the inside, and I can’t do anything about it," wrote Signa.
"Once I lent to a colleague who really seemed like a normal and adequate person. Then it started: 'I can’t right now, tough times.' I moved to another company, a year later I met him: 'I haven’t forgotten, I’ll transfer tomorrow.' It’s been over 5 years now, I’ve long written off my 500 euros as 'charity'," wrote Justs.
"I had one 'friend' fall out of my life over 5 euros. He just borrowed it and that was it — never contacted me again. As far as I understood, that was the price of 10 years of 'friendship'," lamented a young man.
Some commenters shared stories about acquaintances who used to return debts reliably but over time began to avoid communication and make excuses. According to users, it is often the change in attitude and lack of respect that become the cause of conflicts, not the amount of the debt itself.
"It depends on the amount. If I can afford it, I sometimes lend. But I have a simple principle: regardless of whom I lent to — if I was 'thrown' and it wasn’t returned, I don’t make a tragedy out of it, I don’t wait for the culprit around the corner and don’t break knees, but I make a mental note, and that person will never get anything from me again," shared a man.
"During the lats era, I lent 5 lats — it wasn’t returned. After some time, they asked again, I replied that I didn’t have it, and said nothing more about those 5 lats. Now I lent a friend 30 pounds three months ago, and a month later, when I asked about my money, she replied: 'What 30?' She still hasn’t returned it and acts as if she doesn’t owe anything at all," wrote Madara.
There were also positive examples. Some participants in the discussion noted that during their student years, they regularly lent each other small amounts until payday, and all obligations were fulfilled on time. Such friendly relationships have been maintained to this day.
"Right after graduation, there were several of us who lent each other money until payday when necessary. Of course, we’re talking about small amounts. Everyone returned everything. We are still close friends," wrote one commenter.
"I only lend to my closest ones and only an amount that I wouldn’t mind not getting back. I lend and try to just forget that I even lent that money. Therefore, the amounts are small. Experience shows that for large amounts it’s better to formalize some kind of receipt — even just on a regular A4 sheet, for the other person to sign, and someone else to be a witness. But I have very responsible people around me, and there haven’t been cases where someone asked for more than 400 euros, and even then — only for a truly serious reason that couldn’t be avoided," shared her experience Solvita.
Among the most popular pieces of advice was the phrase: "Lend only the amount you are ready to lose." Many participants in the discussion admitted that after negative experiences, they now only help financially to family members or very close friends.
"In the last few years, I have lent money to three people — good acquaintances, so-called friends. One asked for quite a large amount but returned it immediately after payday. The other two borrowed 10 € from time to time and both didn’t return anything, and one even blocked me. It’s very important to filter carefully whom you lend to, but in the future, I won’t do it like that anymore," wrote another woman.
