I Understand Everything — and Remain Silent”: How Empathy Becomes a Psychological Trap

Empathy — the ability to understand and feel the emotions of another person — is considered an important quality for maintaining close relationships and social connections. However, psychologists warn: when the desire to understand others completely suppresses one's own experiences, it can turn into a psychological trap where a person loses themselves.

Understanding Others' Feelings as Self-Soothing

The authors of new psychological materials note that rationalization and attempts to explain another's behavior are often used as a way to avoid confronting one's own emotions. Instead of experiencing their own pain, a person formulates: "I understand why he did that." Such a reaction helps avoid unpleasant feelings but can lead to the suppression of one's emotional response and the accumulation of internal tension.

This phenomenon aligns with concepts from foreign psychology. According to research, when empathy becomes the dominant strategy, a person may start to ignore their own needs and sensations, leading to emotional exhaustion and an inability to regulate their own feelings.

Where the Line Is Drawn Between Healthy Compassion and Self-Sacrifice

Psychologists emphasize that empathy itself is a valuable quality, but its effectiveness depends on the balance between attention to others and attention to oneself. When a person regularly prioritizes others' experiences over their own, they risk losing their own emotional "voice": they stop talking about their own needs, fear conflicts, and may accumulate hidden anger and fatigue.

Experts identify key signs of the emotional "empathy trap":

• Suppressing one's own feelings in favor of explaining others' motives.

• Frequently justifying others' actions at the expense of one's emotional needs.

• Fatigue, irritability, and internal tension without an obvious external cause.

How to Preserve Yourself Without Rejecting Empathy

Psychologists note that the key to healthy empathy is awareness of one's own boundaries. This means that it is important first to acknowledge and articulate one's own state — what is unpleasant or painful for you — and only then to try to understand the other person.

Specialists recommend:

• Listening to your feelings and allowing them to exist.

• Separately checking what is your experience and what is someone else's.

• Setting boundaries in communication and not justifying behavior that does not suit you.