It seems like it should be simple: meet your "person" and live happily ever after. But in reality, it's different. We often find ourselves in relationships with those who do not value us, do not understand us, or simply do not fit. Psychologists explain why this happens.
Habit of Familiar Scenarios
We are often drawn not to those who suit us, but to those who remind us of someone from the past. This could be a parent, an ex-partner, or someone who once caused us pain. We unconsciously try to "replay" an old story and fix everything this time.
Distorted Perception
When we are in love, our brain throws on rose-colored glasses. We see not the real person, but their "improved version." And as long as the illusion doesn't dissipate, we fail to notice the obvious: they are not our match.
Fear of Loneliness
Sometimes being in a bad relationship seems easier than being alone. The fear of being without a partner makes us tolerate what we don't like and settle for less.
Low Self-Esteem
When a person does not believe they deserve love and respect, they choose someone who confirms that belief. As a result, they end up with partners who cannot care, do not respect them, or are emotionally unavailable.
Biology Also Plays a Role
Research shows that hormone levels can influence who we are attracted to. Sometimes the body literally "draws" us to people who seem passionate and interesting—but are not suitable for long-term relationships.
Pursuit of an Ideal
Many seek not a living person, but an image from movies, social media, or youthful fantasies. Ultimately, when they meet a real partner, they are disappointed, as ideals rarely match reality.
Attachment to the Past
If we have not let go of old relationships, we may repeatedly choose similar people. Until we realize that we are making the same mistake, the scenario will remain a closed loop.
To truly choose the right person, we must first understand ourselves—recognize our boundaries, values, and desires. Love begins not with another, but with honesty towards oneself.
Source: e-w-e.one
