"Everything you do in bed is wonderful and absolutely right, as long as both enjoy it," said Sigmund Freud. And it's hard to argue with him. However, in interpersonal relationships, things do not always go smoothly, and there comes a time when sex disappears from our lives for a while. It is believed that sex is not just a source of pleasure but also a guarantee of health, including reproductive organs.
Is it true that sex is beneficial? What influences the different perceptions of sex among men and women? And what to do if there is no sexual partner?
These questions were answered by sexologist Alexandra Miller.
What happens to the body of those who refuse sex?
Sex with feelings and emotions is drastically different from sex 'for health'. Even die-hard cynics want to fall in love to experience that hormonal surge. Sex for health does not provide as much oxytocin, dopamine, or adrenaline as sex for love. Rather, it resembles a trip to the gym with a good cardio workout. The importance of sex in life is greatly underestimated, and with the emergence of feminist ideas, it will soon be 'out of fashion'.
The expression 'not today: I have a headache' was invented by those who do not know about the miraculous pain-relieving power of sex, which blocks pain signals in the brain. The effect can be compared to taking a large number of painkillers.
Why is sex beneficial for health?
For women's self-esteem, for the quality of women's health, and even for elastic, radiant skin, sex is a necessary thing that cannot be replaced by a trip to the gym or by raising cute cats.
For men's health, regular sex is also necessary, as only an active, regular sex life reduces the risk of prostatitis, cardiovascular diseases, and overeating. Additionally, a sexual life helps improve concentration, reduces anxiety, normalizes sleep quality, and even strengthens the immune system. One could say that sex is a 'pill for most ailments'.
How do attitudes towards sex differ between men and women?
It is important to understand that men and women perceive sex differently. In a woman's body during sex, a large amount of oxytocin is released, which contributes to the formation of attachment, calmness, and trust. A woman subconsciously begins to emotionally invest in the relationship and perceives her partner as a potential father of her children, even if it was a fleeting romance.
In a man's body, in addition to a minimal amount of oxytocin, dopamine (the pleasure hormone) is produced. This means that if he enjoyed it, he will simply want to repeat the pleasant sensations.
Knowing this, women will not rush into intimate relationships without checking their partner's feelings. Otherwise, there is a high chance of falling into a trap: a man who is not emotionally involved may be thrilled by sex but disappear afterward and not even remember your name.
The catch is that most men are afraid of ruining the first impression, so they rarely call back to continue the relationship. After all, there is no attachment, and pleasure can be found everywhere. Not many couples have formed strong relationships after a one-night stand. Most often, men choose more serious partners as life companions. Therefore, it is not worth racking your brain over why a guy isn’t texting and revealing your heart without getting to know the person better.
Most often, a girl strives to prove her desirability through sexual connections. When she does not receive an enthusiastic reaction, anger and despair set in. Self-esteem drops, as a lack of interest from a partner means 'I was not chosen'. This leads to undesirable psychological consequences, such as decreased concentration, failures at work, worsening academic performance, and even depression.
By properly prioritizing and controlling your immediate desires and weaknesses, you can avoid negative consequences.
What are the harms of refusing sex?
Refusing sex for an extended period can lead to premature aging of the body, as reproductive function is a natural process of life. By limiting ourselves in pleasure, we send a signal to the brain that it is not necessary to be young, healthy, and attractive. Without an active sex life, the tone of the entire body decreases, along with stress resistance. It becomes harder to cope with a bad mood at work, as cortisol (the stress hormone) accumulates in the body.
Should one seek a sexual partner 'for health'?
It is not always possible to find a suitable sexual partner. So what should one do? First of all, do not seek the first person you meet to 'boost your health'. In sex, quality is more important than quantity. Doubtful partners can pose a threat not only to physical health but also to psychological well-being. Narcissists and psychopaths can seriously undermine self-esteem with ambiguous compliments.
The problem with modern society is that people have become more closed off: we meet fewer new people and fear difficulties in relationships. Sometimes it seems easier to completely refuse sex or to engage in it with a well-known lover, even knowing that there will be no continuation to such a relationship. This approach not only wastes time but also deprives the opportunity to meet the right person.
Meet, fall in love, build emotionally safe relationships, and then sex will be a great bonus!
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