The main thing is to set up the processes; it will be easier afterward.
1. Take Care of Technical Equipment
Some elderly people are more tech-savvy than the youth — they do not need help. But if a person is not very familiar with digital technologies, they need support.
Moreover, it is not just about buying a device, but choosing a model and setting it up to suit the specific owner. To do this, you will need to work through all scenarios with them, because a user who does not yet have age-related changes may not realize some needs. For example, a person may need not a large font, but an extra-large one.
Patiently explain how to use the device and what for. It may be worth creating and printing a manual with pictures. But that’s not all. In the city where your elderly interlocutor lives, you should have someone who can install a new messenger if the old one is blocked, as well as help with other issues. Otherwise, any gadget can turn into a brick.
In general, you should anticipate as many risks as possible to ensure that your interlocutor is protected and remains connected.
2. Call Regularly
By "regularly," it refers not to the frequency of calls, but to a specific schedule. This approach provides a sense of stability. Your interlocutor knows that you will call, for example, on Wednesday and Friday, so they feel calmer on Tuesday. They understand that you are not calling because you forgot about them or something happened to you — you simply agreed on another day.
Chaotic, even if more frequent calls, are worse in this sense. They create an effect of emotional swings, as the person constantly waits for you to show up and may get upset or even offended if that does not happen. And you won’t even know about it.
3. Send Voice Messages, Photos, and Videos
Sending something in text is often easier. It can be done at any moment without disturbing those around you. But for an elderly person, reading from a screen may be uncomfortable due to vision problems. Plus, text messages do not provide much of a sense of contact.
Videos, photos, and voice messages, of course, do not replace personal communication. But they at least allow the person to see your face, hear your voice, and look at what surrounds you. Such messages give the interlocutor a chance to feel closer to you, creating a sense that they are part of your life.
4. Share More About Your Routine
You may think that you have nothing to tell your relative because nothing special has happened to you. But your interlocutor is unlikely to expect you to entertain them. However, they are probably interested in what you ate, where you went, and whether you wore a hat. So, share more about your daily life.
5. Don’t Lecture
It is commonly believed that elderly relatives often interfere in the lives of the young, teaching them how to live and giving unsolicited advice. But it works the other way around as well. As soon as a person starts to see worse, get tired more quickly, and lose their grip, they also receive a flurry of advice on what to do and what not to do.
Hearing how you should live is unpleasant at any age. Caring is not only about this, and rather not about this at all. If you are worried that a relative is having difficulty doing something, find a way to help them rather than convincing them to give up something familiar.
6. Come Up with a Shared Activity
You are not calling just to exchange information but simply to spend time together. It will be easier if you do not force yourself to come up with new stories but engage in some common activity.
Play battleship or bingo, listen to music or lectures and discuss them, sing songs, ask your relative about your family history — the interaction itself is what matters, not the specific activity.
