We have two minor children aged 3 and 8. The apartment was purchased with a mortgage. The mortgage is registered in my name, half has already been paid off (the funds for repaying this half were provided by my parents, with supporting documents available).
The husband contributed the second half – he transferred money to my account, specifying the purpose of the payment. After the divorce, I plan to pay the mortgage on my own. I do not want to sell the apartment. Can my husband demand a division of the apartment, and will the court oblige me to return the money he paid towards the mortgage?
And the main question. The court will surely stipulate the father's right to meet with the children in its decision; can I demand that the meetings take place outside his home and 'one-on-one' – so that the children do not meet with his 'girlfriend' or other relatives?
Could the fact that it was the husband's actions that caused the divorce work in my favor?
Rita Olkhova, jury lawyer (specialization - family disputes, divorce processes, domestic violence):
Joint Loan
If the apartment was purchased during the marriage, it is considered jointly acquired property. The loan is also joint, regardless of which spouse it is legally registered to.
The spouses are equal owners of the apartment and bear equal responsibility for repaying the loan. Therefore, if in the case of a divorce the husband sets the condition that if the wife wants to keep the apartment, she must return to him the funds he contributed towards the loan repayment, he may claim a return of a certain amount. However, this will only be part of the amount he contributed through his account.
For example (of course, the figures are conditional): if the total mortgage amount is 10,000 euros, and five thousand have already been repaid (of which 3,000 were provided by the wife's parents, and two were contributed by the husband), then in the case of a divorce, the wife will only need to return 1,000 to him. This is his conditional half of the repaid loan at the time of divorce. After all, if the husband made payments on the loan from his income, the wife spent some of her income on the family – and the husband, accordingly, benefited from all of this.
But it should also be understood that the real estate itself is not divided so straightforwardly. Along with the loan amount, there is also the market value of the property, which must also be taken into account. All of this is analyzed based on amounts and payments in each specific case – there is no universal scheme here. Moreover, all of the above is only theory. In practice, everything will need to be assessed and verified.
Don’t Miss Your Opportunities
An important point I want to emphasize: a properly drafted claim statement. In civil proceedings, the court only considers what it has been asked to. Suppose the plaintiff requests ownership of half of the property, and if this does not contradict the law, he will be awarded that ownership of half of the property. The court will not consider any other options.
But the plaintiff may not even suspect that by law he has the right not to half, but to all the property! Therefore, it is very important to draft the claim correctly, especially that part called "lūgumi" ("requests"). It is also essential to formulate the arguments correctly and persuasively. It is clear that this can only be done with the help of a qualified specialist, a lawyer or attorney who specializes in such cases.
Mom, Dad, Children...
It should be understood that parents have equal rights as well as responsibilities towards their children. Accordingly, when the father spends time with the children, he has the right to spend that time as he sees fit, and with those people with whom he deems it acceptable for the children to interact. Just as the mother does.
Therefore, if the father decides to introduce the children to his new girlfriend or decides that the children should spend the day with their grandparents (the father's parents) – the children's mother cannot prevent this. And this situation will persist unless at some point it is established that the children are subjected to some negative influence from adults during their visits with the father – for example, someone is turning the children against their mother.
If the mother notices such "symptoms," her task is to carefully observe, without pressure, how the children feel after visits with the father, what they tell her. It would be good if by this time the children had developed a need to share with their mother everything that worries them. The mother does not have the right to directly interrogate the children about what they did at dad's, what he (they) told them, where they were taken, what they were fed, how much was paid, etc. – this is classified as emotional control and falls under the category of emotional abuse. The mother also does not have the right to turn the children against the father and his surroundings.
Thus, the visitation schedule is established, in part, so that the father has the opportunity to communicate freely with the children. And the children, in turn, need to learn to live in different circumstances and realize that although mom and dad no longer live together, both parents love them and wish them the best.
But, as already mentioned above, this is the ideal scheme of relationships after divorce. In real life, one must proceed from specific conditions and circumstances.
The Court Knows Best
If the issue of the second spouse's guilt in marital infidelity is raised in court, it must be thoroughly proven by providing the court with irrefutable evidence of the fact of infidelity. Photos on social media, text messages, and so on – what may have seemed like convincing evidence to relatives or acquaintances, the court may assess differently.
In this case, infidelity pertains to the sphere of the spouses' (negative) relationships. The court is more concerned with what will happen after the divorce: with whom the children will stay (this decision will be made with the direct involvement of the guardianship court), what the amount of funds for their maintenance will be, how the property will be divided, what compensation will be given to the spouse for the funds he contributed towards the mortgage, etc.
Therefore, it is unlikely that one can obtain any additional "bonuses" for the husband's infidelity.
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