Some of those surveyed admitted that their relationships went beyond the platonic.
The Cambridge Dictionary has added the business term work spouse — "office spouse" or "spouse at work." This refers not to workplace romances, but to colleagues who develop close, yet entirely platonic relationships based on trust and mutual support. We discuss who needs this and why, whether "work marriages" are beneficial for business and the mental state of employees.
Merging Minds
If you have a colleague of the opposite sex with whom you regularly go for business lunches, gossip about the boss, and know each other's favorite books and movies, and generally all the "cracks" in each other, this person may be your "office spouse."
"There’s no sex, almost no quarrels, but a lot of work-related conversations," Business Insider describes this type of relationship.
The concept of a close friendship between colleagues of different genders that does not cross moral and corporate boundaries is not new. For several years, foreign media have been discussing the pros and cons of workplace relationships. The term work spouse has appeared in serious academic discourse at least since 2015, when a study titled "Work Spouses: Defining and Understanding a New Type of Relationship" was published by American researchers. The authors propose the following definition — "a special platonic friendship with a colleague characterized by a close emotional bond with a high level of intimacy and support, mutual trust, sincerity, loyalty, and respect." Interestingly, some of those surveyed admitted that their relationships went beyond the platonic.
Authors of another study on "office marriages" believe that they often represent something in between friendship and a workplace romance.
Career consultant and founder of the executive search company Execburo, Sofya Belyandina, adds: "A work marriage or office marriage is an emotional-operational union within an organization, where 'office spouses' (colleagues of equal rank, a supervisor, or a subordinate) make decisions together, closely interact, and support each other under pressure and uncertainty."
The Atlantic magazine described the emergence of this trend as "a strange response to our anxieties about inter-gender friendship, exacerbated by corporate rules." The definition of work spouse, which was added to the Cambridge Dictionary this year, states that it is "a colleague with whom a close but non-romantic bond develops, characterized by trust and mutual support, similar to a marriage."
Perhaps the most famous example of a "work marriage" is the tandem of Condoleezza Rice and George W. Bush. In Slate, Condoleezza Rice, then the U.S. National Security Advisor, was openly referred to as Bush's work wife. The New York Times wrote about their "mind meld," claiming that they "finish each other's sentences."
The Guardian noted that Rice "has good reason to feel secure, as she is unconditionally supported by the only person who matters: Bush." When Rice accidentally referred to Bush as her husband at an official reception (As I was telling my husb... — as I was telling President Bush...), the media lingered on the details of the incident for a long time.
There are plenty of examples of such relationships in modern pop culture: from the complicated alliance of Gregory House with his boss Lisa Cuddy in the series "House, M.D." to the somewhat healthier example of the "working partnership" between football coach Ted Lasso from the eponymous series and club owner Rebecca Welton.
Such alliances are not only found in the circles of the Western political elite or in TV shows; they are not uncommon among ordinary people either. About 70% of employees in the U.S. are "office spouses," reports USA Today. According to Fortune, 72% of office employees in the UK admit to having a work spouse, with 25% of respondents trusting them more than their romantic partners. One in five survey participants is aware of all the life events of their "office spouse," and for 19% of respondents, the "work marriage" lasts longer than their actual marriage.
A columnist for the British The Guardian answers readers' questions in the spirit of: "My work spouse is retiring, how can I maintain my relationship with him?" The popular entertainment aggregator Bored Panda regularly publishes posts about conflicts arising from this. Among them is a story about how a wife invited her "office spouse" to a family celebration, while her (non-office) husband was categorically against it.
<iframe width="442" height="786" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hk9lQ8MnlS0" title="WHY ARE WORKPLACE ROMANCES BANNED IN AMERICA? 🇺🇸" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe>
