"My friends and family always saw me as the guy who parties and enjoys life."
30-year-old blogger from Britain Benny James dated several women weekly for ten years. He used social media platforms – direct messages on Twitter and Instagram, and visited nightclubs up to four times a week. At that time, he justified himself by saying he was just enjoying life, considering it a harmless pastime. Now he realizes that behind his behavior was a fear of loneliness.
Outwardly, he appeared to be a carefree partygoer, but Benny secretly struggled with anxiety and depression. Sometimes it was hard for him to even leave the house. He sought support in drugs and alcohol, but his self-esteem only worsened.
After a long period of excess, Benny's life took a sharp turn. During the lockdown at the height of the pandemic, isolated, he was forced to rethink his life. He met a loved one, reduced his alcohol consumption, and started a new path.
"My friends and family always saw me as the guy who parties and enjoys life. But deep inside, it was destroying me until I hit rock bottom," Benny recalls. "Everything builds up and builds up, and when you finally want to just live peacefully, it becomes almost impossible." He felt intense anxiety and depression.
Now Benny has become a mental health advocate. He launched the "Don't Delay" campaign, urging authorities to invest in expanding treatment options. He emphasizes how difficult it is for a person to change their life once they are trapped in such a lifestyle.
"I'm not one of those stereotypical men like Andrew Tate," Benny said. "If you want to have fun – have fun. But you need to understand where it will ultimately lead."
He also points out the gender inequality in how society perceives such behavior: "Men are often forgiven for this, while women are treated much more harshly. When you get used to constant attention and start thinking about starting a family, many just can't handle it."
Speaking about his experience, he acknowledged that many involved in the sex industry fall into the same trap: "It can easily get out of control. There's no one around to trust. I got to the point where I didn't want to leave the house. I sought solace in alcohol, drugs."
Now Benny draws strength from his new mission. "I've reached a good stage in life. When I talk about mental health, I receive a lot of support and love," he admitted.
Thanks to his partner and stable life, Benny feels he has found himself again.
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