Adults often suppress their emotions when around children to avoid causing them anxiety and fear by looking at worried parents. However, children still sense that something is wrong, and this happens not only because they overhear conversations.
Psychologists from Washington State University conducted an experiment involving 107 parents and their children aged 7 to 11 years. The researchers analyzed how children interact with parents in a state of stress and without it, creating unpleasant situations for parents, such as the need to give a public speech on some message. Children discussed important topics with their parents, while in some cases, parents were asked to suppress their stressful emotions.
To assess the stress levels of children and parents, sensors were used to record physiological indicators. Additionally, the communication was recorded on video, and then this video was shown to independent observers to evaluate family interaction. The article published in the Journal of Family Psychology states that when parents suppressed their stress, their communication became less sincere and open: children seemed to distance themselves from their parents. This is explained by the fact that suppressing emotions requires psychological resources, resulting in parents communicating with children more formally, and children sense this, responding similarly.
Moreover, children clearly experienced stress when interacting with parents who tried to hide their worries. At the same time, the stress level was lower when interacting with fathers than with mothers, likely because mothers generally communicate more openly, and changes in their communication style cause greater concern. Ultimately, it can be concluded that when a child anxiously asks what happened, it is better not to respond that everything is fine, but to try to answer honestly to avoid the accumulation of family stress.
