Such relationships often begin beautifully and subtly. The correspondence is captivating, and the person on the other side of the screen seems to understand with half a glance, feeling completely familiar.
The problem is that this feeling of closeness does not always relate to a real connection. Psychologist Radmila Bakirova discussed the red flags that help recognize the trap and gently exit it.
The Illusion of Perfection Arises from Incomplete Information
In correspondence, there is always editing. A person shows an edited version of themselves, and the rest is filled in by imagination. "The brain automatically fills in the gaps with what it wants to see, rather than what is. That’s why a virtual partner often seems almost flawless, unlike real people with their awkwardness and contradictions," explains the expert.
The Intensity of Communication Does Not Equal the Depth of Connection
A lot of messages, long night conversations, and the feeling of constant contact create a sense of involvement, but this is not always intimacy. A true connection is tested not by words, but by the shared experience of reality: there is room for pauses, disagreements, physical presence, and everyday details. If contact exists only in words, it remains in the realm of fantasy.
A Virtual Romance Often Replaces Unmet Needs
Pseudo-intimacy is especially easy to fall into when life lacks warmth, recognition, or emotional support. "Virtual communication quickly fills these deficits without requiring complex steps and risks. But the problem is not in the format itself, but in the fact that it begins to replace real life rather than complement it," emphasizes the psychologist.
Lack of Action is an Important Signal
If a connection lasts for months but does not progress to a meeting, clarity, or specificity, it is a reason to stop and take a sober look. The illusion often persists precisely because of uncertainty: the longer there are no real steps, the more energy is spent on an imagined future instead of the present.
Returning to Reality Begins with Shifting Focus
To escape the trap of pseudo-intimacy, it is important not to devalue the experiences lived but to redirect attention to the body and life. Real meetings, live conversations, and new experiences gradually reduce emotional dependence on the screen — when meaning and movement return to life, the virtual romance loses its magic on its own.
