Ping in Relationships: What It Is and How to Get Out of It? 0 9

The story is quite common, and every second person has found themselves in such a situation. In psychology, this behavior is called "pinging." An ex can do this either consciously or unconsciously. We suggest figuring out why people act this way and how to respond appropriately.

What Is It?

The word comes from the English "ping," which has many meanings, such as "whistle" or "ring."

For psychologists, pinging is an action to receive feedback, where one tries to connect with someone they haven't communicated with in a long time to remind them of their existence.

Pings can be open or closed. They can be messages, likes, reactions in stories, and calls, or attempts to arrange a "chance" meeting or talk about you with acquaintances.

It is more like a "whistle" — you are called, and you look back. This is what the person aims for. But after that, the communication does not continue. If you take the initiative afterward, the reaction can vary: from a lively conversation and a personal meeting to a terse reply and ignoring. It all depends on the goal the person is pursuing.

Then you forget about the person again, continue living your life, making plans, working, traveling… and this reminder appears again after a while so that you don't forget about them.

Why Does It Happen?

There can be many reasons and motivations for this.

Interest and Care

They may genuinely be interested in your life, showing that you have captured their attention, that they haven't forgotten you, and their feelings haven't cooled.

Boosting Self-Esteem

For the one pinging, it is important to know that they are still loved and awaited, that people think about them. They don't care that their appearances cause pain and suffering to someone. The main thing for them is to boost their ego.

Creating Conditions for Intimacy

The ex wants to strengthen the emotional bond to either return or have a one-time night to reminisce about the past.

Plans and Responsibilities

Pinging occurs where there is still something in common between exes — children, property, business. Here, returns are justified and necessary for coordinating plans and distributing responsibilities. For example, an ex-husband asks once a month when he can see his daughter/son.

Boredom

One of the banal and common reasons for pings is when an ex-partner may be bored and reminds you of their existence. They can ping all their exes.

Short Leash

The ex has been in a relationship for a long time but keeps the ex-lover on the line as a backup. What if things don't work out with the current partner? This way, they can return to where it was "warm and cozy."

Rarely, but pings can lead to the resumption of relationships. Although they cannot be called positive. The victim of the ping often experiences intense emotions, believes in a reunion, imagines a future together, and hopes that the ex has changed. But often, they face disappointment and the feeling of being used.

How to React Correctly?

Do not perceive such signals from an ex as an attempt to resume the relationship. Do not be happy and respond immediately to messages. It is better to ignore such advances from the ex and not respond, especially if you are still hurting.

Any breakup involves all stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. If at any of these stages the ex starts pinging, it will intensify and prolong the suffering. After all, pinging is an attempt to revive past memories and gain fresh emotions.

It is advisable to protect yourself from contact with exes: block them on all social networks and messengers, ask close friends not to talk about them, change your address and phone number if possible.

If the pain from the breakup has subsided, you are not building castles in the air, and you do not harbor false hopes for a happy reunion, then you can chat a little. But do not allow them to violate your personal boundaries, use you in personal games, or humiliate you.

How Not to React?

✓ Do not respond immediately to the message, engage in dialogue, and share about your life;

✓ Do not try to resolve issues and blame the ex for all mistakes;

✓ Do not initiate further communication;

✓ It is better not to dwell on it and wait for the ex to write again;

✓ Do not fall for provocations and do not allow yourself to be drawn into emotions or used.

Emotional See-Saw

Pings create conditions for emotional see-saws. Feelings run high, so almost everyone can be easily hooked by this game.

Upon receiving a signal, you feel happy that someone remembered you. You keep your phone close and wait for a call or message. Any unrelated message or call brings anger and irritation, as you are being sought by someone other than the one you are waiting for.

Then comes the emptiness. You wake up in a bad mood, cry, and relive everything from the beginning, as if you were dumped for the third time. Then you feel joy again when you receive the long-awaited message and experience euphoria… And so it goes in circles.

It is better not to get involved in these games, forget the past, and live your full and interesting life, where there is no room for those who are indifferent to you.