Sometimes advice that seems helpful can actually have a negative impact on mental well-being. Therapists have highlighted phrases and beliefs that hinder healthy thinking.
"Happiness should be your goal"
Therapist Aparna Sagaram notes that for many, happiness seems to be the main goal. However, making happiness a goal is misguided: this feeling, like any other emotion, comes and goes.
Instead of chasing happiness, it is important to be content, calm, and emotionally balanced. This allows one to experience both joyful moments and moments of disappointment or anger.
Society often imposes the idea that new relationships, children, or a prestigious job will make us happy, but in practice, this is far from always true.
"Divorce is wrong"
In marriage, there is always the possibility of improving the relationship: going on dates more often, sharing household responsibilities. But if your views on family and children differ significantly from your partner's, the desire to preserve the marriage may be a mistake.
For some people, divorce is safer than remaining in an unhealthy relationship. Honesty and respect for one’s own needs are more important than following societal expectations.
"Family is everything"
If you grew up in a supportive, trusting family with open communication, it is easy to believe this statement.
But if your family has serious unresolved mental health issues, this statement can create pressure and guilt. It is important to understand that healthy family relationships are not universal.
"It’s important to put others first"
This belief is particularly dangerous for people who tend to please others or are perfectionists. When you constantly prioritize others while ignoring your own needs, your mental balance suffers.
For example, if you lend money to a family member when you cannot afford it, you are sacrificing your resources and emotional comfort.
"You must have children by a certain age"
Cultural and upbringing norms can create pressure to decide to have children.
If you do not want children, societal expectations can lead to feelings of being trapped and anxious. It is important to focus on your own desires rather than others' standards.
You do not have to follow belief systems that do not make sense to you.
