When an adult tries to ingratiate themselves with a child to use them for their own purposes, it is called grooming. The goals are usually extremely low and criminal: exploitation, violence, theft of money or data. Statistics show that as many as 78% of teenagers have faced online risks.
The most important thing is to work on having the child come to you for advice or protection if something strange happens online. But alongside building trust, you can teach the schoolchild to identify markers when they should forget about politeness and interrupt any communication.
The Illusion of a Unique Connection
Groomers often start from afar. They pretend to also love watching anime or playing Genshin and basketball. Then, once they are in the circle of 'their own', they instill in the child that only the two of them in the whole world understand each other so well.
Dangerous phrases: "only I can understand you", "others do not appreciate you", "you can only tell this to me", "you are always right in my eyes".
Sexual Undertones
Groomers who want to commit sexualized violence will, at some point, raise the intensity of the conversation. The child may feel particularly uncomfortable discussing such matters, so there should be no taboo on conversations about sex in the family.
Dangerous phrases: "have you kissed anyone yet?", "I'm curious what you look like without clothes", "you're old enough to do this".
Too Personal Questions
Strangers with bad intentions may gather information about the child's location or compromising material— to later use it against them. For example, provoking them to share secrets and then blackmailing or imposing a sense of guilt.
Dangerous phrases: "where do you usually hang out?", "what time do your parents come home?", "have you done something very shameful?", "have you ever stolen?".
Privacy
To commit a crime without consequences, groomers try to hide the correspondence from those who can protect the child. Therefore, they insist on the secrecy of the communication, sometimes manipulatively.
Dangerous phrases: "just don’t tell your parents about us", "I will be upset if others find out about us", "let's keep our friendship a secret".
Gifts and Flattery
People like it when they are loved, praised, or spoiled. And groomers take advantage of this. They start showering the child with gifts or compliments to win them over.
Dangerous phrases: "give me your card number, I want to send you a gift", "you are so smart, your friends don’t deserve you", "let me buy you this subscription".
