Helping others is natural and important, but taking on responsibility for their lives, especially without being asked, can be harmful to both you and those around you.
Empathy is valuable when it respects the boundaries of others and does not infringe upon your own. Psychotherapists note: healthy empathy allows you to empathize with a person, rather than pity them and solve their problems for them.
What is Toxic Empathy
Toxic empathy arises when you excessively identify with the emotions and problems of others. Your desire to help turns into constant interference and control, which depletes your personal resources and emotional balance.
Signs that empathy has become unhealthy:
1. Constant Desire to Please
If you place the needs of others above your own, much of your energy goes into other people's problems. You may forget about your own interests, health, and personal life.
2. Neglecting Your Own Worth
Over time, you may feel that your main virtue is your ability to always help others. You stop seeing your own strengths and achievements.
3. Controlling Others and Unsolicited Advice
Toxic empaths often believe they know what is best to do. When their advice is not accepted, they become upset, feeling undervalued.
Causes of Toxic Empathy
- Personal traumatic experiences or unresolved emotional situations.
- Low self-esteem: the belief that a person's worth is determined by how much they give to others.
- Problems with personal boundaries: the inability to separate your emotions from the experiences of others.
Consequences for the Empath
- Emotional overload and stress.
- Emotional numbness — a protective reaction of the body that reduces the ability to experience positive emotions.
- Physical symptoms: elevated cortisol levels, headaches, sleep disturbances, muscle tension, fatigue.
- Psychological consequences: anxiety, depression.
Toxic empathy also affects those around you: a person may feel guilty or avoid sharing their experiences to not burden you.
How to Stop Being a Toxic Empath
- Acknowledge the problem: pay attention to your body and emotional reactions.
- Realize: the lives of others are not your responsibility. You can listen, support, and offer help, but not solve their problems for them.
- After intense interactions with others' problems, take time for yourself: a walk, journaling, music, or another relaxing activity.
Thus, empathy remains a valuable quality without becoming a source of stress and conflict.
Source: news.doctorpiter
