What to Do If a Man Doesn't Give Expensive Gifts: Psychologist's Advice 0 8

What Gifts Say in Relationships

Gifts are not only items but also symbols of attention and care. Psychologists, including the authors of the "five love languages" concept, note that for some people, gifts are a language of expressing love that can be as meaningful as words of support or physical closeness. The value of a gift for each person is determined not only by its cost but also by its emotional component.

Research has also shown that expectations regarding the cost of a gift often differ between the giver and the receiver: people who give gifts may believe that expensive items will be more appreciated, but recipients do not always associate price with a sense of gratitude.

When Expectations and Reality Diverge

Psychotherapist Ekaterina Makarova notes that disappointment is related not so much to the material side as to expectations and comparisons with idealized situations from social media, where luxurious gifts are showcased.

If a partner does not give expensive gifts, it may be related to:

• different financial capabilities and priorities;

• differences in love languages — one values gifts, while another values time or help;

• different understandings of the value of things — what is expensive for you may be ordinary or even unnecessary for someone else.

Psychologists warn that expecting expensive gifts as a mandatory symbol of love can lead to disappointment if the partner does not share this viewpoint.

How to Talk About Your Desires

The expert suggests several strategies to help facilitate dialogue in the couple:

• Speak directly about your expectations. If you want a specific gift, it’s better to express this clearly rather than hoping for mind-reading.

• Consider your partner’s capabilities. It’s important to understand what they can afford and seek a compromise — for example, splitting a gift into several smaller occasions.

• Discuss what is important to you in gifts. For one, it may be an expensive item, while for another, it may be quality time or care. This helps avoid misunderstandings and strengthens the relationship.

Should Gifts Be Associated with Love

Experts note that expensive gifts are not always a reliable indicator of the depth of feelings. Often, more meaningful are thoughtful, personal items or expressions of attention that align with the partner’s individual values.

Moreover, there is a risk that excessive focus on the material may lead to emotional distance if one partner perceives gifts as an obligation or a measure of love.

If a man does not give expensive gifts, it is not necessarily a sign of a lack of love. Disagreements most often arise from different expectations, love languages, and financial priorities. Open conversation, respect for each other's views, and a willingness to seek compromises help strengthen relationships and make gifts valuable not by price but by meaning.