On social media, people no longer share successes as they used to, but "tear their souls — posting unflattering details of family disputes, infidelities, and financial problems. Why has it become fashionable to trade suffering for show? We discussed this with a psychologist.
When people first started using social media, they posted photos as if in an album titled "Life is Successful": sharing significant events and achievements. Thus, the trend of "successful success" emerged. However, not long ago, it was replaced by a radically new trend — tearing the soul and talking about personal tragedies. The "era of suffering trade" has arrived — boundaries have become blurred, and personal life and privacy have ceased to be valued. Psychologist Yulia Koroleva reflects on why this happened.
The "Tear Your Soul" Trend
"The roles of the ideal 'self' have ceased to attract attention, the illusion of happiness and success has gradually begun to fade, as have reach on social media. Moreover, people have started to react cautiously and even sometimes aggressively to 'successful success.' And here modern advertising and marketing found a new role: the 'victim' emerged from the shadows, playing with the audience with a savior syndrome," says psychologist Yulia Koroleva.
Many quickly realized that they could attract the attention of their followers by evoking pity and compassion.
"People on the other side of the screen were able to feel like saviors, great helpers. And those who show suffering — evoke interest, stimulate the purchase of goods and services," continues the expert.
"I Can't Stay Silent"
The psychologist notes that by sharing personal issues — problems with a husband, mother-in-law, relatives, discussing difficulties in family life, and even shocking details of intimate relationships, people sometimes genuinely try to express their emotions as they can, seeking support and attention. There are also those who sincerely believe that openly experiencing difficulties helps cope with pain and overcome fear.
"By showing their emotions, people do partially compensate for loneliness, validating (recognizing and accepting) the expression of negative emotions; they create a space where others can empathize and feel unity, as now everyone shares a common pain," says Yulia Koroleva. "One person satisfies their internal needs, such as recognition, acceptance, and love, while another adopts the experiences, alleviating their internal conflict."
When to Be Cautious
If you were also touched by one of the personal stories shared online, before trying to help the person and starting to give advice in the comments, consider: is this person really sincere?
"Intentional public expression of negative emotions to evoke pity has its name — 'sadfishing' (from English sad — sad, fishing — fishing)," the psychologist points out. "The illusion of closeness and accessibility for audience growth and increased sales is a new marketing strategy that actually only destroys public trust, turning personal problems and relationships into a commodity, commercializing human emotions."
The psychologist recommends: no matter who you are dealing with, if you see revelations on social media — whether it’s a sincere person who can no longer stay silent and is not heard offline, or a seller of personal tragedies for profit — always strive to maintain kindness and caution in communication.
"Be yourself, honest and genuine, learn to express emotions adequately, then the support of those around you will be sincere, comments will be kind, boundaries will be clear, and values will be authentic," concludes psychologist Yulia Koroleva.
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