When a series of failures throws us off track and makes us doubt ourselves, it is easy to succumb to despair. Restoring self-belief can only be achieved by regaining mental clarity. Psychologist Frédéric Fanget explains how to boost self-esteem and regain control over your life.
Fundamental Levels of Self-Esteem
A lack of self-belief manifests at three levels:
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Foundation — self-esteem (what I am worth);
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Middle — self-confidence (what I can do and know);
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Top — self-assertion (what I am capable of).
To develop self-belief means to strengthen your abilities, inner resources, and talents.
1. Develop What Works
It is not worth focusing on your weaknesses, especially during periods of depression. It is better to concentrate on improving the skills you already have.
Example: if you play the guitar well, mastering new pieces or techniques will boost your confidence, bring pride and joy, and strengthen your self-esteem.
2. Ask Close Ones
Reach out to a friend, colleague, or family member and ask them to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.
- Ask questions: "When did I demonstrate myself as knowledgeable and experienced?"
- Write down the answers without comments.
This helps to see yourself from the outside, gain support, and uncover undervalued talents.
3. Record Your Actions
Write down moments that evoke feelings of weakness or insecurity and analyze their causes.
Then make a list of situations where you feel confident and ask yourself: why do they have such an impact?
Regular practice helps shift the focus from the global "I am incapable of anything" to the specific: "I have difficulties in some areas, but I know and can do a lot."
4. Set Realistic Goals and Start with the Main Ones
- Break down goals into specific and achievable, temporarily achievable, and currently unattainable.
- Focus on the main tasks of the day, completing them first.
- As Brian Tracy advises, completing a challenging task first gives an energy boost and increases confidence for the remaining tasks.
