The ability for internal dialogue can be used for both good and harm. It is difficult when you lose yourself in overthinking, detaching from real life. And then the question arises: in what cases does analysis benefit, and in which does it cause harm? A simple tool that will help you understand the problem and restore mental balance is discussed by certified coach Alena Boreysson.
Should You Always Trust Your Thoughts?
People often worry about situations that may potentially happen in the future, for example, they might say something wrong or fail to find the right words. Although catastrophizing feels unpleasant, it can create an illusion of control – "at least I have anticipated the worst and there is some certainty!"
At first, such worries and catastrophizing may seem very important. Many people engage in analysis and replay different scenarios. And soon, a person has lost themselves in mental chewing gum, making no significant progress on the situation.
Here it is important to recognize that thinking and believing are completely different things. You can think a thought (sentence) right now about a pink elephant being in the room, but you do not believe in that thought. Similarly, if there is a fear that your plans and endeavors are doomed to fail – this fear can be accepted as truth, or it can simply be allowed. In the first case, a person starts analyzing the assumption, while in the second – simply notes it and lets it go.
If you do not limit yourself to a single (often catastrophizing) thought about a potential future, it can open up new perspectives. For example, instead of fixating on the thought that everything might not work out, you allow that thought to exist without diving into further analysis, thus creating space for alternative options.
How to Manage the Endless Stream of Anxious Thoughts?
What might the process look like if we do not want to engage in a dialogue with ourselves and endlessly catastrophize about what else might happen?
Give Yourself Time
Take a pause and try to understand where your current train of thought is leading you. We can literally fast-forward the situation a bit: how will you feel continuing to believe in this thought? What actions (or inactions) will it lead to?
Remember the Possibility of Choice
Overthinking and rumination (the brain's attempt to "solve" often unsolvable tasks of predicting the future) are signs that you have believed in the initial thought. Here comes an important reminder – there is a space of choice between the emergence of a catastrophizing thought and belief in it. You already know what will happen if you continue to believe in it. But now there is an opportunity to explore an alternative option.
Imagine how you would act, for example, believing that everything will go according to plan. How would that feel for you? If this thought feels at least a little better than the initial catastrophizing, you have every right to choose thoughts that help you be in harmony with yourself.
Initial Catastrophizing is Normal
The good news is that we do not have to resist unpleasant thoughts; it is enough just not to react to them. You give yourself the conscious right not to engage in analysis because you know exactly how you want to spend each hour of your life.
The thoughts that arise in your mind are only the first stage. The brain will continue to use "mental transportation" to prepare us for future events, and in most cases, this is a wonderful mechanism.
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