"A marriage without sex" is frightening and evokes associations with coldness and alienation. In reality, the decrease in intimacy is a much more complex and widespread phenomenon. A psychologist explains why this happens and how to restore passion in relationships.
Why Intimacy Fades
Sex does not disappear suddenly — it is a gradual process. Factors affecting the decrease in desire include:
- Fatigue after the birth of a child
- Work, deadlines, caring for loved ones
- Hormonal changes: menopause, postpartum period, low testosterone levels in men
- Chronic stress, anxiety, depression
- Side effects of medications
- Unresolved conflicts and low self-esteem
Sometimes both partners lose desire, sometimes one remains active while the other does not. If this is not discussed, resentments and feelings of alienation accumulate, and the bedroom becomes a place only for sleep.
Is This Always a Problem?
Not necessarily. There are couples who are satisfied with the absence of sex if they maintain deep emotional closeness, trust, and shared values.
But if intimate life is important to at least one partner, its disappearance causes an emotional rift. A person may feel rejected, unwanted, or guilty, which gradually undermines the relationship.
Statistics show: couples who have sex at least once a week are more often satisfied with their marriage and life, but each case is unique.
How to Restore Desire
1. Talk About Intimacy Gently
Start with phrases like "I miss our closeness," avoiding accusations. An open conversation reduces tension and creates opportunities for change.
2. Accept Natural Changes
A decrease in desire is not the end of a relationship. Periods of decline can occur after the birth of a child, during stress, or menopause.
3. Expand the Concept of Intimacy
Intimacy is not just sex. Kisses in the kitchen, touches, walks together, and laughter create a foundation for rekindling passion.
4. Seek Professional Help
Sex therapy helps understand oneself and one’s partner, overcome shame, and improve communication. Even a few sessions can significantly improve the relationship.
5. Small Steps
Restoring intimacy begins with sincere, small steps, not coercion or feelings of guilt.
Conclusion
A marriage without sex is not a sentence, but a signal that the relationship requires attention, care, and honesty. The main thing is not the quantity of intimate contacts, but the feeling of desirability, being heard, and the value of each partner.
For some couples, spending a weekend alone without phones is enough, while others need a deep reconsideration of ways to maintain closeness. Do not look for a culprit — seek a way to restore the warmth that once united you.
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