The Boston Marriage: Why Women Choose to Live Together

Imagine two women who decide to live their lives together — not necessarily as a romantic couple, but as partners in home, shared interests, and mutual support. Today, this may seem unusual, but in the 19th century, this form of cohabitation had its name — "Boston marriage."

This phenomenon has become part of the history of women's independence and an alternative to traditional marriage. Today, the term is often used in the context of female solidarity and close friendship, notes Andrea Mariana.

Where the Name Came From

The term "Boston marriage" gained popularity after the release of Henry James's novel "The Bostonians" in 1886. Although such unions existed before, it was the book that solidified the definition.

Boston marriages referred to the partnership of two women from wealthy families who chose to live together without marrying men. They shared a home, finances, managed a household together, supported each other, and often remained together for life.

Interestingly, such unions were not considered scandalous: in the Victorian era, close female friendship with displays of affection in public was the norm.

Why Women Chose Boston Marriage

The reasons varied:

Financial independence. Shared household allowed them to remain free from male authority.
Professional fulfillment. Living together provided the opportunity to engage in science, art, or social activities.
Personal freedom. The union allowed them to avoid unwanted marriage.
Emotional closeness. For many women, it was a true partnership of support.

Notable Examples

The Ladies of Llangollen — Eleanor Butler and Sarah Ponsonby lived together their entire lives in Wales, and their home was even visited by Queen Charlotte.
Alice James and Catherine Loring — their union inspired Henry James to write "The Bostonians."
Sarah Orne Jewett and Annie Adams Fields — American writers who lived together, wore wedding rings, and celebrated their union's anniversaries.

These examples show that Boston marriages could be romantic, sexual, or platonic, but were always based on support and devotion.

Boston Marriage Today

The modern understanding of the term has two meanings:

In the LGBTQ+ community — female partnership, romantic or queerplatonic.
In a broader sense — cohabitation of two friends who share housing, finances, and daily life without romantic relationships.

For many modern women, especially millennials and Generation Z, this is a practical way to ensure stability, support, and independence.

Why Boston Marriage is Relevant Again

Rising cost of living: shared expenses become easier.
Desire for freedom: traditional marriage is no longer mandatory.
Support and care: a friend can become a reliable partner in everyday life.
Recognition of different forms of closeness: love and support extend beyond classic marriage.

"Boston marriage" is not just a historical phenomenon. It is a symbol of freedom, deep friendship, and female support. And it seems that today it is regaining relevance, offering women what was valuable in the 19th century and is still valuable now: the opportunity to be themselves.