Toxic competence is a state where a person is so confident in their skills that they stop delegating, doubting, and listening to others. They do everything themselves because they believe that no one can handle it as well. At first glance — the ideal employee or boss: proactive, responsible, reliable. But such leaders often drive themselves and their team to burnout.
The "I Can Do It All Myself" Syndrome
It develops in those who are used to "saving" projects and fixing others' mistakes. Over time, this turns into a survival strategy: if you are not constantly working, then there is no one to hold the system together.
As a result, the leader does everything right, but the team becomes tired and dependent, while he loses energy, the respect of colleagues, and the ability to learn new things.
Signs of Toxic Competence
- Refusal to delegate: "It's easier to do it myself."
- Distrust of others' decisions: corrects even what has been done correctly.
- A work culture of holding on with all their might: does not acknowledge fatigue and weakness.
- Criticism disguised as care: demotivates the team.
- Intolerance of others' incompetence: any mistake is taken personally.
Why This Is Dangerous for Male Leaders
Leadership requires creating conditions, not carrying everything on your own. Toxic competence turns a man into a lone fighter who wins battles but loses the trust of the team and the ability to inspire.
The eternal desire to save everyone is a hidden form of control. The team stops developing, and the leader finds himself trapped in his own perfectionism.
How to Recognize the Syndrome in Yourself
- Irritation when someone does something differently.
- Rarely satisfied with the result.
- Do not rest, even on vacation you maintain control.
- The team is passive, and all tasks fall on you.
If three or more points match — you may be tired not from work, but from a lack of trust.
How to Get Rid of Toxic Competence
- Start with micro-delegation — assign small tasks without control.
- Replace control with mentorship: "How do you see this?"
- Stop being the hero — leadership is not about carrying everything on your own.
- Ask yourself: "If I take a month off, will everything fall apart?"
The Main Paradox of Competence
The more you know, the higher the risk of getting stuck in your mind. True leadership is about being able to trust, teach, and give space. A man's strength sometimes lies in allowing the world to move without him.
