A human is just one of the species of animals, but it is quite unusual. It combines contradictory qualities: we are preparing for flights to Mars, yet we still, like thousands of years ago, fear the dark. How is this possible?
The essence is that the evolutionary process of our species, which should solidify all new and interesting things at the genetic level, is lagging behind the "locomotive" of progress. If we imagine the history of humanity as a conditional calendar year, it turns out that we started developing agriculture on December 31 around 9 a.m. The instinctive programs have not had time to adapt. From the standpoint of instincts, we still remain hunters and gatherers. Mentally, we resemble Mowgli, who has not yet found the "iron tooth" and has not stolen the "red flower" in the village. And somewhere nearby, the saber-toothed Shere Khan is prowling.
In new conditions, old instincts often suggest incorrect decisions. A juicy and fatty donut covered in powdered sugar is harmful, but it seems to us that if we don't eat it now, it will be too late tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come; the world is too dangerous. The harm from the donut will manifest many years later, and our instincts are unaware that we could live that long at all.
We experience hunting excitement while sitting on the couch — through video games and watching sports events. The urge to gather can be satisfied by shopping: there is nothing more natural for a bipedal primate than wandering through a shopping mall and choosing everything that attracts from the shelves. The cave programs in our consciousness make us instinctively fear everything new. The familiar does not require the formation of new neural connections in the cerebral cortex, which, in turn, reduces the brain's energy consumption.
Thus, we are the only species of animals for which advice to "be true to oneself" and "listen to your heart" — if this implies following instincts — brings nothing good. Fortunately, we do not act that way. Besides the set of old programs, we have evolutionarily younger components of personality, more flexible and adaptive. We call them "rational thinking," "will," "mindfulness," "responsibility," "striving for personal growth," and so on. In the process of our evolution, they have formed in interaction with other people, that is, in society. That is why, if we want to strengthen these qualities within ourselves and help them prevail over unreliable instincts, it is natural for us to do this in the process of communicating with another person. Even better if that person understands what is happening to us. Then they can truly help us help ourselves. Everything is in our hands if we really want it.
