Family Holidays Without Stress: Why Loved Ones Can Be Exhausting 0 9

Family is your closest people. However, let's be honest: often, meetings with relatives take a lot of energy.

Of course, if you have a bad relationship with your family, even an hour in such company can feel like an eternity. But why do family gatherings tire you out, even if you love your relatives very much? There are several reasons for this.

Why It’s So Hard

A large family is a complex mechanism, with each person having their own quirks, behaviors, and values. When you come to family celebrations, you have to keep all this information in mind and manage your behavior accordingly.

There is another reason why weekends with relatives can drain you.

"Spending time with a large family essentially forces adults to revert to old family roles while simultaneously maintaining their current adult identity," explains licensed family therapist Erin Pash.

For instance, you may be raising children yourself, but to your parents, you remain their daughter or son. You might be the CEO of a large company, but to your grandmother, you are still her beloved grandson. The need to juggle such different roles is a challenging task for our psyche.

Moreover, family systems often harbor long-standing grudges and resentments that can complicate interactions.

Relatives often do not communicate with each other very tactfully. This also creates tension.

Generational conflicts, disagreements over politics, religion, and views on life in general can exacerbate the situation. And what should be a normal family holiday turns into a complete nightmare.

Warning Signs

Sometimes, time spent with relatives can be so exhausting that your body starts sending signals of burnout.

For example, you should pay attention if you continue to feel a strong sense of irritation after gatherings. If you need a long time to recover after family meetings—this is also a reason to think. Another common symptom is an inexplicable feeling of guilt or annoyance.

"Another sign is rumination, when you hear yourself replaying dialogues in your head or worrying about what might be said next," notes clinical psychologist and author Jenny Yip.

Experts also identify some physical signs that you are exhausted after family weekends. For instance, if your jaws are clenched, you have digestive issues, headaches, and your sleep has worsened, writes Huffpost.

What to Do

You can choose not to refuse family gatherings while doing everything for your own well-being. Here are some tips that can help you.

• Don’t hesitate to politely but firmly defend your boundaries.

• Take breaks if you feel yourself boiling over. Go for a walk, find a quiet room.

• Allocate time for quality recovery.

• Think in advance about what moments might cause you stress and try to minimize them. For example, if you regularly argue with your uncle when you drive in the same car, try to find another way to get there.

• Stop the dialogue if tensions have reached a boiling point and you feel like you’re about to explode.

• Be realistic: you won’t be able to fix all your relatives and reconcile those who have been feuding for years.

• If you regularly have issues with a specific person, try to calmly talk to them privately and express your feelings and wishes.

• Find compromise solutions. Perhaps you would feel more comfortable spending three days with your relatives instead of five?