Even in situations where everything seems calm on the outside, many feel inner anxiety: the body is tense, thoughts are relentless, and joy seems unattainable. The psychologist explains that the reason lies in emotional patterns—stable models of response formed under the influence of childhood, environment, and life experience.
Expert: Milana Sokolova, Psychologist
The following scenarios are most commonly encountered:
“I must be needed to be loved”
This develops in childhood when love depended on usefulness and obedience. In adulthood, it manifests through hyper-responsibility and difficulties with relaxation.
Waiting for the “right moment” to live
A person postpones happiness for the future, which deprives them of the ability to enjoy the present.
Fear of rejection and initiative
This includes an internal prohibition against taking risks or expressing desires, which hinders the ability to build close relationships.
“If everything is fine, then soon it will be bad”
Anxiety arises even in safe situations. This pattern develops when living in an unstable environment and can lead to emotional burnout.
Difficulties accepting help
This stems from distrust and the belief that “one must manage alone.” It leads to loneliness and emotional isolation.
The desire to meet others' expectations
A woman adjusts her personal goals and behavior to the standards of others, making life “bland” and limiting self-realization.
Distrust of stable relationships
A person accustomed to emotional swings may unconsciously destroy closeness, perceiving calmness as boredom or a threat.
How to cope
Awareness of one’s emotional patterns is the first step towards change. Gradual acceptance of one’s feelings, requests, mistakes, and desires helps build honest and sustainable relationships with oneself and others.
Source: fokus-vnimaniya.com
Leave a comment