Boredom in Relationships: Why Happiness Becomes Dull and How to Rekindle Interest

Even in the most harmonious and seemingly happy unions, a feeling of boredom can arise. People often wonder how this is possible when their loved one is nearby. Clinical psychologist, sexologist, and couples psychotherapist Muza Konina explains why boredom occurs and how to deal with it.

Why Happiness Becomes Dull

According to the expert, boredom in relationships signals that they can no longer be considered truly happy. During consultations, psychologists often see couples facing conflicts or a loss of interest in each other, including in the sexual sphere.

— Boredom is a serious reason to seek help. In such relationships, sex is often rare or absent. Behind this lies a multitude of other problems, — notes Konina.

The expert emphasizes that formally prosperous relationships can exist between partners who are not perfectly suited to each other. They suppress conflicts, preventing healthy aggression and anger from manifesting.

— Some couples create a union for the sake of external well-being, hiding their dissatisfaction. Sometimes these are old disagreements, suppressed pain, or unconscious conflicts. There is a belief that good relationships have no place for conflicts. However, the ability to engage in dialogue during disagreements strengthens the bond. Anger is an important emotion if expressed constructively, — explains the psychologist.

Muza Konina adds that aggression is an integral part of love and sexual intimacy.
— Too gentle and predictable sex often becomes dull more quickly than diverse sex. Sex is part of intimacy and a continuation of a deep dialogue, — clarifies the specialist.

How to Rekindle Interest in Relationships

The psychologist advises imagining relationships that do not evoke boredom and thinking about what is lacking in dialogue and intimacy with a partner.

— Start talking about your dissatisfaction if you are silent. Find time for each other if daily life has consumed you with work and family responsibilities. Spend time together in interesting ways, seek shared experiences, — recommends Konina.

— Be yourself as you were when you weren't bored. Discuss what you lack in sex and ask your partner to do what brings satisfaction, — adds the expert.

Sometimes couples seek therapy to make their relationships less boring, but it turns out there are hidden double relationships. According to the psychologist, this may provide apparent relief, but on a deeper level, it maintains limitations in the primary relationship.